


Take All That I Have

by Patd06



Category: Bleach
Genre: M/M, Song Lyrics, Songfic, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-23
Updated: 2013-11-23
Packaged: 2018-01-02 10:47:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1055875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Patd06/pseuds/Patd06
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grimmjow loves Ichigo, but Ichigo can't express if he reciprocates Grimmjow's feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Take All That I Have

**Author's Note:**

> This is Grimmjow's perspective on his relationship with Ichigo to the tune of "Never Gonna Leave This Bed" by Maroon 5. It was my very first yaoi, and was originally published on fanfiction.net. It got deleted from the site because it's a songfic, which was one of the reasons that I now post most of my GrimmIchi fics here. Please enjoy:)

 

**You push me**

**I don't have the strength to**

**Resist or control you**

**Take me down, take me down**

He’s perfect.  Maybe too perfect.  But how can I get him to see that my feelings are for real? Yeah, I’ll admit it.  I, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, am in love with Ichigo Kurosaki.  I’ve been in love with him since the day we met.  And I was the first to make my feelings known. . .

_“Ichigo. . .I. . .”_

_“Fuck, Grimm, would you just spit it out already?  You’ve been saying my name for the last fifteen minutes.”  Ichigo looked exasperated and impossibly cute.  I chuckled._

_“God, I love you,” I said, before I realized it.  I was still shocked even though it was what I wanted to say all along.  Ichigo looked even more shocked than I was._

_“Uhh. . .thanks, I. . .guess?” he responded hesitantly. . ._

 

**You hurt me**

**But do I deserve this?**

**You make me so nervous**

**Calm me down, calm me down**

I know what you’re thinking. . .“What a douchebag thing to say!”  But it’s not.  It’s just Ichigo.  He’s always been shy about things like that, so I didn’t push it, even though it stung like a motherfucker that he couldn’t say it back.  At the time we’d only been officially together for four months.  But we’d known each other since elementary school.  I was kind of a shit to him when we were younger because I was still struggling with accepting my sexuality.  But Ichi would just scowl at me, call me an idiot, and punch me in the chest.

Ichigo wasn’t like me when it came to his sexuality.  He was bisexual and he got a lot of gripe for it along with his hair color.  But he didn’t take shit from anyone.  That’s something we had in common.  I guess that’s how we really bonded.  We helped each other through the tough times.  Because no matter how badass you are, you still have emotions and feelings, and are capable of being hurt.

 

**Wake you up**

**In the middle of the night to say**

**I will never walk away again**

**I'm never gonna leave this bed, oh**

_“Ichi. . .wake up,” I said, poking his nose.  He swatted my hand absently in his sleep.  “Ichi, c’mon, get up.”_

_“Terrorists. . .” he mumbled and turned on his other side.  I stifled a laugh.  He’s such a heavy sleeper, I bet he’d be able to sleep through a terrorist attack._

_“Ichigo. . .” I whispered again.  He turned over to me again and opened his perfect brown eyes half-mast.  He scowled._

_“Do you know what time it is, fuck-face?” he asked, groggily.  He was so cute when he was annoyed at me._

_“Yep.  It’s midnight.” I reached on the side of the bed and pulled out an immaculately wrapped box.  “Happy birthday, Ichi.”_

_He immediately perked up and snatched the box away from me._

_“Baka.  I told you I didn’t want anything,” he said, as he tore at the wrapping.  I just laughed at the complete ecstasy on his face when he saw his present.  “Grimm. . .”_

_I’d gotten him a special edition X-Men comic book in mint condition.  He turned to me, his smile almost splitting his face.  God, I loved his smile._

_“This is the best present ever, Grimm.  Thank you,” he said.  He hugged me and placed a chaste kiss on my lips.  “Shit, it must’ve cost you a fortune.”_

_“I’d do anything for you, Ichigo.  I love you,” I said.  He blushed._

_“Thank you.”_

It still hurt that he couldn’t say it two months after I’d said it the first time.  But what the fuck did you expect me to do, leave?  Yeah, right.  Like I’d ever be able to leave Ichigo.

 

**So come here**

**And never leave this place**

**Perfection of your face**

**Slows me down, slows me down**

_“Grimmjow. . .faster. . .” Ichigo moaned.  I increased the pace of my thrusts.  “Yes. . .right there. . .”  I leaned down and captured his lips with my own._

_When we parted, the look on his face almost made me stop in my actions.  His perfect bright orange hair adhered to his face with his sweat; his brown eyes were clouded with lust, a light blush dusted across his gorgeous cheekbones.  Could he get anymore fucking perfect?_

_“Fuck, Grimm, don’t stop. . .” he breathed out, bucking his hips to meet my thrusts.  “Grimmjow. . .”_

_“I love you,” I said, as I buried myself in him to the hilt.  The action was deliberately aimed at his prostate, and I’d met my target with force and velocity as Ichigo quivered below me with his release.  He tightened around me, causing my own ejaculation._

_“You don’t know what you mean to me, Grimm,” he said, running his fingers through my hair._

I never really thought about it after that.  I just said it whenever, because it was true.  It didn’t matter that he couldn’t say it back.  Of course I wanted to know why at first, but when I thought about it, he had said it.  He said it in different ways.  Just because he didn’t say those exact three words, didn’t mean he didn’t love me.  I knew he loved me too.  So that made everything okay. . .

 

**So fall down**

**I need you to trust me**

**Go easy, don't rush me**

**Help me out, why don't you help me out?**

The first time Ichigo and I got into an argument, like a huge break-up fight, was a few weeks after our one-year anniversary which coincidentally was the same week as our spring break from university.  Ichigo wanted to go to Cancun with his friends Shinji, Lisa, and Kensei, and I was one hundred percent against it.  It was a fucking terrible idea!  Shinji was the dumbest motherfucker on the planet and Lisa was just a perverted cunt-muncher.  The only one who had the sense God gave a slice of pumpernickel bread was Kensei, but spring break does crazy things to people.  Needless to say, Ichigo was pissed because I didn’t want him to go. . .

_“Are you my boyfriend or my fucking dad?  Jesus,  can’t I do anything without your permission?” he screamed.  I didn’t think it was that serious, but I guess I went a little far by locking him in our closet.  Oops.  “You’re such a fucking idiot!”_

_“Calm down, Ichigo.  I just don’t want something bad to happen to you.”_

_“Nothing bad is gonna happen, assdick.  I’m a grown ass man, and a goddamned black belt.  I can take care of myself.”  He sounded calmer so I opened the closet door and was immediately met with Ichigo’s fist.  “Moron.”_

He didn’t stay mad at me for long.  Especially when I laid down the law by way of “tear-that-ass-up”, so I was confused when he left the next day. . .

 

**Take it, take it all**

**Take all that I have**

_“Grimm. . .I. . .I’m sorry.  I know it’s been a year that we’ve been together and I still can’t say it.  You must resent me for that,” Ichigo said.  I looked at him in shock.  I’d done my very best to hide the hurt at the fact that we’d been together for a year, and I’d told him that I loved him almost everyday and the closest he’d come to it was “You don’t know what you mean to me”.  I never said anything about it.  Did I come off as resentful?_

_I'd give it all away just to get you back_

_"What are you talking about, Ichigo?”_

_“I’m fucked up, Grimmjow!  Okay?  I can’t fucking say it!  Do you know how many times I’ve tried?”_

_“Ichi, it’s okay.  You don’t have to. . .”_

_“No!  It’s not okay!  I don’t deserve you, idiot-face!  I don’t deserve to be with you.”  His breathing was sporadic and he looked deranged when he looked at me._

_I was so selfish.  I thought I was hurt because he couldn’t say it when in all actuality, Ichigo was the one who was dying inside._

_“I don’t want to do this anymore,” he said.  I looked around the room.  Because he must’ve been talking to someone else.  “I don’t want to hurt you anymore.  I can’t be with you, Grimmjow.  I’m just not capable of being with anyone.”_

_“Ichi. . .”_

_“Goodbye, Grimmjow,” he said.  He walked out of the apartment we shared without another word._

_The fuck just happened?_

 

**And fake it, fake it**

**I’ll take what I can get**

**Knockin' so loud**

**Can you hear me yet**

**Try to stay away but you can't forget**

I’d never once pushed Ichigo to say it.  It didn’t matter.  Having him by my side was the only thing that mattered to me.  If the best way he could express his love for me was by saying “you don’t know what you mean to me”, then shit, I’ll take it.  So why did he feel like it wasn’t enough, when I’d never asked for more?

 

**Wake you up**

**In the middle of the night to say**

**I will never walk away again**

**I’m never gonna leave this bed, oh**

**You say "Go, it isn't working"**

**And I say "No, it isn't perfect"**

**So I stay instead**

**I'm never gonna leave this bed**

“Grimmjow!” I hear behind me.  I turn slightly.  It’s been three months, two weeks and four days since Ichigo left me, and I officially think I’m crazy.  I have to be hearing shit, because I think I hear Ichigo calling me.  “Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez!”

We’re in the middle of a fucking shopping center.

A motherfucking shopping center.

I’m insane.

“Grimm, it’s Itsygo!” My sister, Nel, says excitedly.  After Ichigo left me, I’d moved in with her because it was physically painful to be in that apartment.  Nel shakes me furiously to get me to turn around.  But I don’t want to for fear that it’s some sort of hallucination.  I tense when I feel a warm hand on my shoulder.

“Grimmjow.  Please. . .look at me,” Ichigo pleads.  I tentatively touch his hand on my shoulder and turn around.  It is him.  He’s here and he’s gorgeous, and he’s looking at me with those big brown eyes.  God, I love this man.

“Ichi. . .” was all I could manage.

“Grimmjow, I’m sorry.  I was such an idiot for leaving you.  I was too wrapped up in my own bullshit to realize that you’d never asked me for more than I could give.  You have every right to junk-punch me and tell me to fuck off, and that would be okay.  But I just want you to know. . .I. . .I love you, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez.”

Somebody call the goddamn bomb squad.  Because I’m gonna fucking blow up in a minute.

I wrap my arms around Ichigo’s lithe frame, kissing his soft lips.

“Damn, Ichi.  Wish you’d gotten fat or something.  Would’ve been easier to be mad at you,” I say, cheekily.  He punches me in my chest.

“Baka,” he says.

“But you love me.”

“I do.  I love you more than anything, Grimmjow.”

“And I love you too, Ichigo.”

 

**Take it, take it all, take all that I have**

**Take it, take it all, take all that I have**

**Take it, take it all, take all that I have**

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading:)
> 
> Patd06


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